Yakety yak, don’t talk back!

In a move that’s sure to further confuse drunkards throughout the greater Detroit area, talking urinal cakes in local bars will now strike up conversations with patrons.

When a man steps up to a urinal, the motion-activated potty pucks will suggest — in a woman’s voice — that they take a taxi home.

It’s all part of a statewide Fourth of July week education and enforcement effort to crack down on drunk drivers. Funded, of course, by the federal government. Who else could conceive of spending money on talking toilets when the country is in such a financial mess!

One bit of advice, you don’t want to be the guy relieving himself next to the drunk when the urinal starts talking. Cuz you know the dude’s gonna turn to see who’s speaking and that means nothing but wet shoes for anyone standing too close.

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Sale of “special” toilet paper lands trio behind bars

SOURCE: nightowlssb.blogspot.com

These three are going to be the laughingstocks of their cell blocks.

Three Florida men working for a septic tank company conned unsuspecting poopers into buying a million dollars — yes, ONE MILLION DOLLARS — worth of unnecessary products. In some cases they duped customers into buying enough “special” toilet paper to last them more than 70 years!

he men pleaded guilty in federal court to conspiring to commit wire fraud.
They face up to 20 years in prison.

SOURCE: jeffreyhill.typepad.com

Icky poo

Operators of a new public fountain that doubles as a water park in Columbus, Ohio, learned the hard way that kids will be kids.

Apparently the tots are mistaking the fountain for a bidet. After shutting down the fountain multiple times to clean out the doodie, officials have instituted a policy of mandatory potty breaks every two hours.

Officials are hopeful No. 2 will no longer be their No. 1 problem at the fountain.